This morning, to demonstrate the harsh reality of parenthood, I made up my own lyrics to an old children's tune, and my Ana, so like me as a kid, accompanied me. She's a good sport, because we sang about twenty verses really loud so everyone in the house could hear.
I was sleep deprived. Singing about how my morning went after staying up to near midnight last night like a fool (am I not aware that there are four children in this house who get up before 6am???) was therapeutic. The ditty went so:
Four bears in the bed and the little one said
Roll over!...I'm crowded
So they all rolled over and one fell out
Three bears in the bed and Danny Sam said
Roll over, I'm climbing back innnn...
So they all rolled over and tore the bed sheet
Four bears in the bed and the little one said:
I'm crowded, roll over
So they all rolled over and Danny fell out again...
Well, you get the picture. There were two kids who crept into their parents' queen-sized bed last night. This morning while still in the haze of restless, no-good sleep, they yanked on my hair and fought over who got to lie by my face, and because all of us were thrashing about, fighting for space and sanity, someone tore the bed sheet. My littlest, Danny Sammy, got up on and down from the bed multiple times while attempting to keep my hair in his hand like a leash. I slept great, but my hair is thinning.
So this morning I put frozen English Breakfast tea bags on my eyes. Then I laid on the couch with icy caffeine dripping into my tear ducts for several minutes. It was invigorating. When I got up, I asked my kids, "Do I look better? Did it help?"
"Uh, I can't really tell," said my son. "But, sure...I think..."
After I washed the brown liquid from my lids, I felt better. Half the value of beauty products and routines is that you feel proactive. The more time or money you invest, the more confident you are that things are working. You're not just waiting for Old Man Time to make you look like a scarecrow; you're being that scarecrow - with boxing gloves on. After the tea I felt so much better that I smeared glitter eye makeup into the not-fine lines on my eyelids. I even put chunky statement earrings on my droopy earlobes. I was ready to face the day and defy my accrued years of spending supposed-to-be-sleeping hours in a recliner, on the floor by a crib, on a Sesame Street toddler couch, and, when very lucky, in my own bed - but always with the imminent threat of invading children.
One must face the day regardless, and I faced it alright, looking ready for the fall - a glitter-faced, bejeweled, smokin-hot scarecrow.