Monday, August 4, 2014

Facebook and My Habitual Failure to Launch

My family and friends might not believe it, but I have thoughts, too - ideas and dreams even. I just don't share them on Facebook.

Call me lazy. Call me a social media klutz. Tell me I need a smartphone, so I can stay "connected". Just don't slam me for having no reflections on life, because I do, my friends. Here are the slew, and I mean slew, of things I meant to share on Facebook in July:

The Lamb Chop Litmus Test for Home Cooks

My husband made a lovely lamb chop dinner for Mother's Day. It had fresh mint and rosemary and a white-wine cream sauce. I loved it, and I tried to replicate it. It was NOT  the same.

Either I messed up the ratio of ingredients - easy to mend - or it's a surefire sign that my man is meant to do all the cooking from now on. I'm going with that last one.

The Bonsai Trial (Like So Many Others)

Yep, my beautiful bonsai is already dying. It took me barely a month to destroy it.

One night over dinner I was telling my husband how Daniel knocked me into it as I was attempting to revive it, and it skewered my fingers with some of its bone-dry needles. I cried out, "I knew this bonsai didn't like me! It's like, 'I'd rather die than stay here with you, Lady!' "

Berto held up a forkful of food and pointed. "Or you'd rather kill it than have to take care of it."

Matthew eyes widened as he added, waving his fork accusingly, "Now normally Berto's not right when he says stuff like that, honey, but you got to admit - that's got a ring of truth."

"It's not true! I love my Bonsai. My poor little, beautiful tree." I turned sad eyes upon it to prove my point.

But our little Ella Belle had the last word:

"Maybe it's not a tree," she said. "Maybe it's a bush."

That explains everything.

My Favo-right Meal

When I gave birth to Ella, I had the best meal I've ever had in my life; a nurse brought me a platter of cheese and fresh fruit. It hit the spot, and there is no spot worth hitting quite like the one belonging to a woman post-labor.

No, I don't love to cook, but I do love the ingredients of this brilliant, simple meal:

Cheese, two or three varieties
Crackers, two kinds (one should be fancy)
Fruit (grapes, melon slices and strawberries recommended)
Sliced meat - optional
Crusty bread - optional
Raw veggies - always a good idea
Wine - very good idea



All you need to be happy is the opportunity to watch your kids, even the 11-year-old, dance to the Happy song.

You look old

I found my first gray hair. I mean, really, it was iron lady material, coarse and shiny. Matthew has always claimed that I would finally start dying my hair when it turned gray. I have always protested that I shall not if it comes in as I hope: a thick, stylish skunk stripe (wait...that does sound stylish, right?)

But this was just one wee hair, and as I bent over, peering into the mirror, Matthew had just the solution for it: he brutally yanked it out and cried, "There!"


Ooops, that was only five - hardly a slew. Oh, well...maybe I'm just not social media material.

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