Sunday, March 3, 2013

Just cook, dame! Cook? Damn!

Yeah, I know. I know. I'm being redundant....

Every time I stand in the kitchen around mealtime, I should start singing Adam Lambert's song, "What do you want from me? Uh, what do you want from me?"

It should be my culinary theme song. Because cooking a messy meal at the end of a busy day when the house looks like orcs pillaged it? It's like purgatory at the end of a hard life.

Have I said that before?

Supper? From mwah? Here are the options:

Tuna, pickle and hard-boiled egg (crackers instead of bread on special days)

Oatmeal and scrambled eggs

Pancakes and scrambled eggs

Blueberry muffins (homemade!)and scrambled eggs

Eggs....fried? with oatmeal, pancakes or blueberry muffins


Chicken noodle soup

Nachos, multiple ways

Bagged salad with Mystery Meat

How about dessert? Would you like some? Your choices:

Sliced apple (without skin)

Whole apple (with skin)

Orange, sliced

Orange, peeled and sectioned

Carrot chips

Carrot Sticks

I roasted a chicken a few months ago, a whole chicken. I even took out the organs and showed them to my kids for an impromptu science lesson. When my husband asked that evening what we were having for dinner, I answered somewhat briskly, "I made a chicken." Couldn't he smell it? Uh, yeah.

"But what are we having with it?"

"I don't know," I replied as I bustled off to address laundry. Then realizing he didn't grasp the enormous effort involved in removing the innards of a bird, slathering its cold, clammy skin with olive oil, butter and spices, and shoving vegetables into its business end, I called back emphatically,"I made a chicken!"

What do you want from me?

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