Freewrite of sorts: Letter to Papa, because I can

Dear Papa,

It's been really, unexpectedly busy lately.

I know you're probably wondering why I'm not writing more, Papa....well, unless you're so busy writing your book that you haven't noticed my pitiful output of words. That's probably the case, so I'm good.

You told me to treat this writing business like a job and not to piece meal my time away. What you told me not to do, I did. I gave away a ton of my time. The kids' school needed someone to do copier pool this week, and the better part of three days I've spent there. Eventually while waiting for that mightier-than-thou copier to spit out 3,020,500,019 copies, I realized I should be using the wait time to write, so I scrawled on a scrap piece of paper. What I wrote wasn't very good, though. And the copier kept jamming and moaning, asking for more toner and begging for coffee, lunch, and nap breaks and just in general being an attention hog. We now have a toxic relationship, that copier and me. I hope I don't see it again for a while, but I'm not betting on it.

Oh, funny aside: that copier can copy several pages at once into a packet and staple each one, but I didn't know that, so I copied a bazillion two-sided pages for a teacher, and then had to sort them into individual packets by page number and staple each one by hand. 75 packets of several pages each, it took me a couple hours. Not very efficient of me.

Also, your grandkids have been terrible stinkers on and off. Berto is stressed out in middle school, and snapped at me all the way home yesterday afternoon about television and homework, mad because his siblings got a half day, and he didn't. Daniel throws fits, demands stuff, and tells me I'm mean for getting after him for treating me like carp. Gabriella smarts off. Ana is fine besides putting too much pressure on herself. I do alot for those little rapscallions; they should appreciate me more instead of complaining about what I pack for their lunches.

I still want to write that mystery novel, but I'm going to check out a book at the local library on how to write a mystery novel first. I never had your gift with plots, and it would probably be best if things happened in this book instead of everybody milling around and talking to each other or getting lost in their own heads.

Right now I have three humor posts I'm working on, but I may have to ask your help with editing. I can't seem to wrap any of them up or get the tone or punch of certain lines just right. I would really hate to lose my momentum there, and that's what I fear: that I can't perform again, that I'll backslide.

Annie's visit this past weekend was wonderful. She was awesome with the kids, even letting them each paint a part of her face and buying them craft supplies for Halloween costumes. They'll never forget that! I hope she got all that paint out of her hair. We went out to eat twice in two days which amazed the kids, because they're so used to their parents being cheap.

Annie gave me a wonderful gift. I'm sure she told you about it, but I was shocked when I saw what it was: an original Beatles Abbey Road record. I couldn't wait to listen to it, and I'm also thinking about getting a really cool frame for it, so I can stare at it regularly on the wall. "Oh Darling!" is on there and "Octopus's Garden" and "Here Comes the Sun" - do you remember when Freddy died, and I listened to that one all the time? Annie gave me some of our childhood back; we used to listen to that record constantly together. It was my favorite. I even called that beautiful maple in the field on the north side of the house my Abbey Road tree, remember?

(Why is it, Papa, that my siblings always give me such amazing gifts, and I just really stink at giving them something incredible back? I never seem to find the personal and memorable treasures they do. They spoil me, and I don't deserve it at all. Maybe I'm amazed.)

One last thing about Annie's visit: I bet you'll never guess what we did? We argued and debated and almost ran for our boxing gloves. And guess what we did after that? We made up, and we laughed our heads off about how we are as a family (it all comes from your side, you know). We were drinking some Muscadine wine, the kind that Vinca introduced me to and that tastes like those muscadine grapes we used to pick in the lane, and Annie kept cracking me up by imitating how our family is when we're together like some big, crazy Mediterranean family as in Big, Fat Greek Wedding. She was witty in describing how we take someone else's business and rub it into our faces (It's not uh my business? It's not uh my business?! There! *rubs hands all over face* Now it's my business!), and how we leave our business on the other's doorstep, waiting for them to step in it. I'm starting to laugh just thinking about it. Matthew couldn't survive the debating/fisticuffs phase, so he missed out on the awesome after party. I think he goes into a temporary coma induced by exposure to overly emotional people.

Well, now you know what I've been up to. Oh, that reminds me; I want to write a humor post about our crazy family antics during reunions, too. I might have to steal some of Annie's material; I hope she doesn't mind.

I promise to work harder on my writing. When Danny first went to school, I was beside myself, craving company in the silence, and now I just wish I had the time and the quiet back once more. We always want what we don't have in the moment, huh?

Give Mama a big hug and kiss for me and tell her I miss her and often wish I could talk to her about "woman issues". She's such a calming influence, just like Matthew, Dave and Keith - haha! We really need them, all of us passionate folk.

Love,

Hoodoo

Go pray in the field, and be persistent

I am currently reading Anne of Green Gables to my two oldest, and in the book Anne confesses to her new adoptive mother that she does not say nightly prayers, essentially because God gave her red hair "on purpose", and she resents it. But Anne also points out that if she were to pray, she would go into a field alone or a forest somewhere and look up, up, up....and let the prayer come to her.

This brought back a childhood memory, or, rather, a string of them. I told my children that in Tennessee, I did use to go into the cornfield or near the edge of the woods to pray in the evening before bedtime. It was usually summer and during twilight when the whippoorwills' calls pierced the fog about the hills and woods. As I stood in the uneven soil of the field or dropped to my knees and began Our Father, I felt closer to God than I would have if shut up inside.

There were also evenings when I'd sit in an old lawn chair by Freddy's grave just below my bedroom window, the light spilling across my lap. Freddy, you see, was a big floppy-eared black rabbit whom I loved very much. He died too young - even for a rabbit, but I sat by his grave often, twirling my favorite walking stick in my hands. And in sitting by Freddy's grave in prayer, I felt closer to the One who had made my dear little friend.

After sharing this with them, we were led into a discussion of the importance of persistent prayer - not only as a means of asking and receiving, but as a way of seeking your Creator often and being humble before him.

"And it's very important to thank God for your blessings," I added. "Because in doing so, you'll become more aware of just how truly blessed you are. Do you know what I say in many of my prayers?"

"Amen?"

"Well, yes...but, no, I say 'thank you, Father, for all we are blessed and provided with'."

I didn't add that I always thanked Him for their Papa and for each of them, too.

"I know; I know," said Berto, his eyes growing wide and lighting up. "I've heard you say that at dinner."

"Mama, do I pray enough?" asked Ana, her eyes growing misty.

Well, dang, I wasn't trying to make it a chore, a burden or a schooling in guilt. I was trying to convey the strength you get when consistently seeking your Father.

"Yes, Ana. We pray together at church, don't we? And during the school year, we say Our Father on the way to school each morning. Look, God simply wants to hear from you, so it can be as simple as saying at bedtime, "Father, I love you and thank you for my friends and family and toys and home. Amen.' Just remember to talk to Him often, and to ask for His guidance when you're older."


Proverbs 8:17 I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me

Psalms 27: 8 When you said, Seek you my face; my heart said unto you, Thy face, Lord, will I seek.