Conquer

People seem to think that it is in some way a proof that no merciful God exists, if we have so many wars. On the contrary, consider how in spite of centuries of sin and greed and lust and cruelty and hatred...the human race can still recover, each time, and can still produce men and women who overcome evil with good, hatred with love, greed with charity, lust and cruelty with sanctity. Thomas Merton, The Seven Storey Mountain


I am seeking the Prince of Peace. He said In the world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. Today I have read about tribulation that isn't even mine, yet I find it hard to be of good cheer, to be brave.

There was another shooting. There is rampant abuse by vile people of the youngest, most vulnerable and impressionable among us. I want to give up - build a fortress, sail away, take the next rocket to the moon with my children and my whole family. I want to give up on humanity, that race so capable of producing monsters - and not the ultra-hip, hyper-sexualized ones with which they spin all manner of mindless entertainment.

What I speak of, this despair, it is cowardice. Sometimes I am appalled by my own selfishness and inertness. What can we do but strive? We stop striving to live morally for ourselves and to live bravely and proactively in the world, and we die spiritually. I have no choice but to put my head into the wind and surge forward despite fear and despair. There is no good option but to respond with love. By the grace of God only can I do this. By prayer and fasting and searching.

I feel overwhelmed by what I see in the newspaper and on the Internet. Sometimes like today I walk about my home snapping at my children because my thoughts plague me; a storm cloud sits on my brow; and my mind is preoccupied with evil that I cannot battle personally, evil that I cannot undo for those who have suffered its consequences - those whom I love and ache for though I don't know them.

Like Martha in the Bible, I am troubled by many things, but on days like today I wish I could sit at Christ's feet, cling to his robes with a steel grip. He would remind me, no doubt, that sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. I should not worry about tomorrow.

Perhaps He would point out that sometimes a simple game with your children can dispel the blackened skies and remind you to live in love and hope. I wandered around my house today, seeking shelter for myself in some distraction. Only when I crossed my legs on the floor, responded to my kids and bent my mind to a game of Candy Land did I find it, and I was so grateful to have it. I cannot give in to hopelessness.

What right have I to be selfish in my despair? I am extraordinarily blessed in the purest blessings of life, and I thank God for it daily. But there are those in the world who have no shelter, who are blessed with next to nothing. I have heard some of their tales of survival and victory, and I have learned through them that triumph over evil is possible and necessary. Like the Jamaican runner, Olympian Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce, who grew up in a harsh neighborhood where young girls are not often given the chance to reach potential, sometimes pregnant at 12. She went to college, and she won another gold. in London. Like the elderly woman who lived next to my husband before we were married. She was abused at age 3 but as an adult became a missionary in South America. Like the Olympian Lopez Lomong who was once a child soldier in Sudan and now helps operate a charity to provide clean water and other necessities in his homeland.

If this world were glowing, coming up roses everywhere - a fairyland of love and laughter- there would be no need to exert ourselves, to show love to strangers, or to use our talents selflessly for others. The weeds affect the wheat and visa-versa. Both must grow together until the harvest. The evil in the world ignites the light of good people and the flame of great deeds. Without this struggle there would be no Mother Theresa, no firemen rushing into the World Trade Center, no by-standers tackling a gunman outside a Tucson Safeway, no policemen removing the threat to innocent people outside a Sikh Temple, and no brave men and women working tirelessly to save children from exploitation and horror. I wish for no evil, but it exists. Through God's guidance and mercy, I pray that I will be brave in having my own role in overcoming it. And we cannot doubt that those who love their children and do their best to guide them in the way they should go are doing their lion's part to make the world stronger, a better place.

Even a smile can do that in some little way. So God bless you, and God bless all of us in our endeavors - in overcoming evil with good and hatred with love.


I have felt this way today, so though I wrote this a long while back, it seems like the best post for my mood on this unique and challenging day I experienced. Sometimes I am absolutely disgusted. Is it better to avoid the news, the internet and be ignorant of the corruption and vulgarity in the world and so manage to maintain a greater hope, a more charitable view of your fellow creatures? I don't know, but I do understand it is unforgiveable to lose hope, charity or love.

Spirit

This post is dedicated to the mother of my close friend who recently suffered a heart attack and is recovering. I pray that you get well quickly.

Have you ever been around someone who is a mystery? They attract other people, and you yourself wish to be near them. Not because of their appearance or their confidence or their personality, but because they seem to be in possession of something very valuable but intangible - something which brought comfort and perhaps joy with it.

Not to say these people are perfect specimens of the human race. They may struggle financially, battle recurring depression, have health troubles, challenges within their family, but regardless, they have something that pulls them through all this with the extraordinary ability to uplift others as well.

I recall how my dad stood at the grill during my graduation party, and a group of young men who had never met him before surrounded him, asking him questions and seeking his advice. I knew why, but they probably didn't understand. And they certainly weren't the only ones to do this during my time at home. I had friends and cousins and saw near strangers hang on my dad's words, trying to glean something permanently strengthening from them.

And my mother to this day often finds herself in long conversations with people she has just met. They spill their troubles, and she mops up the messiness, doling out compassion and love.

You meet people with this sort of quiet power, but you're most likely to recognize its impact if they are not your friends and are not related to you. I know many of my friends possess it - I can feel it while in certain conversations with them - but it is not startling to me. Yet I have recognized it in something so pedestrian as an email, and it did surprise me; a gentleman I scarcely know sent me a message telling me not to be discouraged concerning my writing, but how he said it held that same power that gives strength if one avails oneself of it.

Sometimes it pervades the home where people dwell. There's more than enough of it to go around, and it's like permanent sunshine indoors. While on a trip this fall to visit family and friends, I recognized my Uncle Kipper and Aunt Cheryl's house had it - love and nourishment for all who lived, visited or rested there.

Sometimes people bring it with them into a home where there is conflict and struggle, and it suddenly, inexplicably dispels the shadows and balances everything, at least while they linger.

One of my closest friends moved to be nearer her family, a long way from friends who love her, but I understood what good there was for her in that decision when I met her parents again on our trip, the day of her daughter's baptismal. When they came to church for the wonderful occasion, they brought that sunshine, that strength with them. And, yes, it was already in that spiritual refuge; it was already present with their daughter, but they made it more abundant. For me, being around and talking with them and my friend at her home after the baptismal was like homecoming, a spiritual homecoming. I recognize what they carry with them. It gladdens me, and I garner what wisdom I can from it.

My friend told me that at her parents' 50th wedding anniversary, her dad said that he was proud all 10 of their children had gone to college, a great thing. Then he stated that the reason their family had made it through difficulties and thrived was because they always had God.

How many times have I heard my dad say the same thing? And many others.

That quiet power, that sunshine, that strength, that thing that makes some people state after a devastating tragedy that their faith helped them through the pain - that thing that confounds so many people - it comes from God.

The more you cultivate it by seeking Him, the more likely you are to feel it when your life is troubled and the more it will give strength to others without you fully realizing it.


The wind blows where it will, and you hear the sound thereof, but cannot tell from where it comes, and where it goes: so is everyone that is born of the Spirit - John 3:8